i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize