this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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