u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i now understand why vodka
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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