Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
