Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
