If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
