I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Randomize
