Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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