Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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