After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
i think my cat just said my name.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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