Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
