Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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