just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
