ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
As shirtless as possible
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
