Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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