Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
