I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
