If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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