his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
