When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
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I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
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Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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