Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
