YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
