god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
