I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
