Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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