remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
