would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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