let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
