He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize