I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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