i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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