i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
