i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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