i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
