how can u be prego again
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
