Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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