she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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