The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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