I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
