She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
