his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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