Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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