Don't EVER smell your tampon
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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