I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize