She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
