Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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