Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
