I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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