Moan for me like Helen Keller
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
