can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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