We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
