I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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