We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
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gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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