dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
