NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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