i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize