y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
