we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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