Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
ttyl tear gas
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Randomize
