Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize