I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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