Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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