this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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